Change can be beautiful

Such amazing creatures. I am in awe of them. So fragile, graceful and beautiful. Their lifespan is very short, a year at the most, depending on the species and some live only two days. And yet, the Monarch travels 3,000 miles during it's migration to Central America.  Children's butterfly site.

In the process of metamorphosis, while they are in the cocoon, they turn from a Caterpillar to an indistinguishable mass of "goo" and somehow, out of that, this gorgeous creature emerges. One butterfly expert feels this is "rightly regarded as a miracle". I would agree.

This one really enjoyed my Oregano blooms and kept returning time and time again.

I wondered what I could learn from them. I think that God's Creatures often teach us something. He told us to observe them and take lessons.
I think, for me, the butterfly represents change and complete renewal. Becoming something new and leaving the past behind.
I believe I'm in that process, at this juncture in my life. The problem is, right now, I'm just a lot of "goo" and not sure how it all can fit together. I feel the cocoon around me, smothering me, knowing change has to happen. Yet, I'm not quite ready to break free, strengthen my wings and fly. It all takes time, I guess.


Really, I'm not trying to over dramatize my situation, I just have no idea where it all will lead. I feel the change, I  know it's coming, I know it needs to. I just don't want to make the wrong choices and the choices to be made seem so important. They involve the future of some of those I hold closest to me. I feel completely torn and a lot like that "goo" trapped inside it's walls. Not sure how, this could ever turn out to be for the benefit of all. And, that is what I'm looking for, something that changes us and makes us all better.....like the butterfly. So, I'll wait and keep looking up. I'll keep asking for Guidance. I'd be lost without it.

Some fine things....

  Cane Creek Park

Everitt Sean

Just testing some changes I made to my subscription reader. I'm hoping I did this right and our blog is being sent to our readers correctly. Otherwise I may be starting over.....
I thought I'd share some "fine things" in my life. Some of the finest, actually!

Tim with our grandchildren at Cane Creek Park in Cookeville, TN

Aurora Lilly

 Estella just loves her little cousin Aurora

Estella Cheri

These are a few of the  fine things in my life. This is from a song by the Eagles called  Desperado. Our son recently played this and posted a video of it on facebook. He was actually quite good. Really. I should know, I have very good taste in music! (at least I think so)  He's been playing this one off and on since he was a teen. Practicing. We hadn't heard him play in a while and both of us were impressed with him. We might just be a bit biased....

  In the song, is a  line that goes like this....."Now it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table, but you only want the ones that you can't get."......... This is often so true in our lives. It just seems that we are never quite satisfied with what we have. That there is always something more that would make us happy if we could just somehow, find a way to get it.  I have often thought of these words whenever I find myself longing for something just out of my reach. 

                                           Some fine things have indeed, been laid upon our table! 

The Gift

Do we know the gift we have been given? Life, love, beauty. I  want to write about my gratitude for that. Often, as I look at the World around me and the seeming unfairness of it all, I could be discouraged that there isn't more I can do. Sometimes, I wish for wealth so that I could give to those who do not have. But, I am beginning to realize that wealth is not necessarily a gift or something to really be desired.

I have been reading a book called Soul Survivor by Philip Yancey. In it, are 13 short biographies of people who helped, in one way or another, to restore the waning faith of the author. One of these men was Leo Tolstoy. A famous Russian author who wrote such books as War and Peace and Anna Karenina. No, I've never read them, they are both very long and are not really my type of books. I have read several of his short stories such as Where love is, there is God. -by going to the link you can read it online.- It is a short little story of a poor shoemaker who has lost his family. One day he hears a voice tell him that Christ will visit him tomorrow, but is surprised to see it happen in a different way than he expected. I recommend reading it. Great story.
One of the lessons that Leo Tolstoy seems to have found in his quest in this life, was that money could not buy peace, contentment or even lasting happiness. He wrote several stories of Russian peasants who had found this elusive peace. It hadn't been brought about by wealth and material things.

Another chapter in Phillip Yancey's book was on a Harvard Professor named Robert Coles. He was also a child psychiatrist who wrote a series of books called children of crisis. In this series he interviewed ordinary people and often children. He was trying to gain an honest perspective of how people lived. In the first four books he focused on poor people or those who wouldn't be considered wealthy. The final volume called The Privileged Ones is about the rich and well off in America.
His conclusions are similar to what Leo Tolstoy found. Money does not buy us happiness. That those who were lacking in material things were by far happier and better adjusted to life. One of the reasons he felt this was so, (and this point is often ignored by his peers) was their faith. Many of the people who lacked wealth, that he interviewed, had faith in God and often pointed to Him as the reason for their peace.

As I was reading these biographies a verse from Proverbs came to mind. ~...give me neither poverty nor riches...lest I be full and deny Thee and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain. Pr. 30:8-9~
It seems, to me, that in our society, as more and more people gain in material wealth, they turn away from God. As if they do not need Him. Those who have just enough to get by, know that they do indeed, need Him and turn to Him for their source of security. In Him, they find peace.....

As I look at my life and the things that I do have, I become more and more grateful for the life that He has given me. We have never had a lot. Certainly, more than many in this world. Honestly, though, it has always been just enough. Never more, never less. We have always known, Who provided that. We have found peace in that. Things would get tight and we would worry. But in the end, it would always be enough and we wondered why we had gotten so uptight about it.

So, as I mull all these thoughts around, I look around and see such wonderful gifts. I find them all around me. In the little House Wren that sat on a fence post just last evening, singing his cheery little song, as if it were  for me alone. The Indigo Bunting that came and showed off his brilliant blue feathers to us, nearly every day for several weeks. In the amazing green and growing things I am surrounded by and so desire to learn more about. In that very knowledge of them, He has allowed me to gain.

We love where we live. The four seasons are perfectly spaced, each with 3 months of their own. Even now, as I write this, I feel fall in the air, slowly inching it's way into summer. God has given us a piece of his Earth. I watch the trees, flowers, birds and even the insects and am filled with gratitude for His over abundance.

I look at my family and how much they care for one another and for Tim and I. I look at my smiling grandchildren as they reach out their arms for a hug from gramma. My heart is filled and overflowing, with no empty spaces.

I hear his voice bring me comfort as He speaks through the Psalms of David. I think of the Shepherd boy  and once king of Israel, that wrote them from the depths of his heart. A man, not so different from us. A man, who had learned to find his peace, in God his Father. He found that peace, while watching his father's sheep in the wilderness. The words written so long ago, are still so fitting for our lives today. I find so much comfort and understanding in this book.  reading schedule of Psalms I often follow

I am overwhelmed with all that He has given us. It is a Gift.

~ Either we are adrift in Chaos, or we are individuals, created, loved, upheld and placed purposefully,   exactly where we are. Can you believe that? Can you trust God for that? ~ Elizabeth Elliot

True Riches

I just love this picture. It was taken on Father's Day when Aurora Lilly (our granddaughter) and her mama came over to visit. Tim was worn out, as usual, (poor guy) and just taking it easy. I like to call her my little "Gerber Baby" I think she looks just like the perfect little baby that's on Gerber baby food products.

She has blue eyes and red hair. Just like her gramma!! Well, to be fair, her other gramma also has red hair and her daddies beard is red. So genetically, the odds were good, that it would turn out red. She's just so beautiful. And I'm not prejudice a bit am I?!

Having grandchildren is just wonderful and I have loved every minute of it. I don't know how I ever got along with out them. Never for a moment have I felt that it somehow meant that I was old! However, my birthday is coming up and that would be an aging factor. Tim and I both would have loved it if we had had more children. That didn't work out but, these granchildren are just a Gift. One that we both have loved everything about. Proverbs 17:6

This is me with our oldest, Estella Cheri. She and her brother got to come hang out with us for a couple of weeks this spring. What good times we did have! But let me tell you, I had to learn all over again how to keep up with two very active kids. Can't you just see the mischievousness twinkle in her eyes here? Personality, that's what it is. Life would be so boring if we didn't have little ones to keep us young. The way they think is still so innocent and moldable.  Sigh....just wish that somehow we could find a way to keep that and not let life hurt them and change them.

I know it's not possible and life does change us. No one's life is perfect. We all bear our own burdens and have our secret pain. I guess it's what you do with it that can, either make you a better person or make you a "not so better" person.

With my birthday nearing....I'll be 45....I've been reflecting on my life and what has been good and what I wish I could change. Of course, we can't change what has already been done, but you can change what 'will be' to a very great degree. I made my choice years ago, after the birth of my youngest. I decided I definitely did not like the way my life was going. I was living a completely self centered life that revolved around the things that I wanted. Nothing would get in the way of my desires. If I wanted something I went after it and didn't care who got hurt in the process.

I was 23.  (yep, I had all three of my kids before that age.) It's sort of a magic age for me. That was when my life changed... It wasn't over night, in fact it was a pretty long and hard process to change and repair all the damage I had done. I couldn't even see all of it for a long time. Even being able to see how my actions affected others, took some time. Time for me to grow and learn. But, I had decided that I wanted something better for my kids. I didn't want them to grow up in this -'sometimes messed up World'- without a Divine Guidance in our lives. Yes, that's when I decided to live my life the way Jesus taught us to. As I said, life was not somehow magically made into the Garden of Eden again. No, but at least we had a better direction to walk in. He left some really good instructions to follow.

This is Tim throwing rocks in the creek with our grandson Everitt Sean. He is just something else! We just plain have fun with him.
A few weeks ago he was at our house and his folks were out with their friends. It was getting late and I said  to him and his sister "we better get ready to go 'nite nite'." He looked at me with a big happy smile and very politely said "no tanks" (no thanks) and went about playing with his toys as if that had settled it. What a funny little guy! (yeah, I let them stay up later, who could resist that?!)

Our family gives us so much joy!


~ One’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses. ~ Jesus  Luke 12:15

Focus on life

I  write and paint in this little journal. It often helps clear things up in my mind.

I've been working through something of late. (disclaimer * the following information is meant to reflect my thoughts and no one is to think I am speaking to them or anyone else in general.)

If you read my blog you'll know that we have recently become what most people call "empty nesters". Personally, I don't like the phrase, but for clarity I'll let it go this time. This particular season in my life is not one I've relished. I loved raising my kids, it was hard at times but, I was satisfied that I was doing something worthwhile. Something lasting. Now, that is over. The house seems big and empty at times and to be honest I've been doing some hiding. Hiding from the reality of my life. I guess you could say I'm lonely and I've been putzing around the issue. Not facing it directly.

Where have I been hiding? In the land of the World Wide Web.... don't we all hide there sometimes? It's an easy place to go. Lots of information to flood our minds with. Than there is always the social media....you know, the ever popular Twitter, Facebook, My space or as one of my brother-in-laws once asked his daughter "Where did you hear that? My Face?" He was serious. Believe it or not, not everyone is "plugged in". 

Tim isn't. Imagine this, he stills reads books. You know that kind that are made of paper and you go to the library to check them out! Although we have a joint account on facebook he doesn't use it. Except to look at the pictures I show him of family (mainly his grandkids) and such. He makes a rare comment but, that's about it. I asked him once if I should take his name off the account, he in turn asked me something along the line of "Why would you do that? It represents us both doesn't it?"  To him it is simply a tool. A tool we use to stay in closer contact with family and friends through photo sharing. He doesn't really see the reality in online "friends". Although, many people have made some really great friendships that way, I can honestly see his point.

The country song You find out who your friends are comes to mind. Consider this.....When a serious problem comes around who is going to be there for you? Thirty seven comments on facebook lamenting your problems sure doesn't count for nearly as much as, that neighbor across the road, who is at your door asking" if there is anything he can do for you?" ...I see his point.

It does make a good place to hide though. You can hide from loneliness, boredom, a life you just aren't too happy with and the list goes on. Or you can use it to relive your high school years and regain your popularity. No thanks, I've been to high school and I wasn't impressed with the popularity games then either.

Now that I've totally trashed your favorite social media......It is something I don't intend to totally give up. It is a good tool! It's a lot of fun sometimes and I have some dear friends that I have met there. But, it is not a good place to hide or find your sense of self esteem at. And....let's face it, it can be a huge waste of time.

So, once again, I see his point. I'm done hiding. I'm done wasting my time. I love to journal, write, spend time with my family and God, read about herbal medicine, garden, wildcraft for herbs and we are going to find a way to get more hiking, camping and backpacking in!! These things are reality. It's our life and I don't want to waste any more time. I want to get on with it. When I finally came to this conclusion and begin to see what was really important in life....Contentment washed over me and I suddenly loved my life. Right now. Even being an "empty nester"! 

New Year Goals

Above is a picture of my Geranium plant that my daughter in law gave me this summer. I had it on the porch all summer and not one single bloom. I brought it in this fall and just look at it. It is so full of life and blooming it's little heart out. It's amazing what a change in location can do. Not all changes are that drastic but some are...

So, it's the New Year. Time to make new goals for 2012! Forging new pathways and making changes are usually a good thing. I heard a pastor once tell this story. " There was a farmer who had a mule and wagon that for years followed the same path amongst the sugar maples, during sugaring season. After so many years, ruts began to form and the farmer no longer had to steer the mule. The wagon wheels were caught in the ruts and guided the mule in the direction he needed to go."  I'm sure you see the analogy here, if we don't make new goals, we will simply be guided by the past "ruts" of our life. Changes and goals can be bring about new and better things!

I'll just tell you a few of the goals I had in mind for our blog. I call it ours even though I do all the writing....Tim inspires me, so he is part of this too.
In a way we're sort of like these birds.... different in our approaches to life, yet somehow, we manage to make it work and even share the same feeder. (big smile)
This is one of the new goals I have. I'd love to photograph more birds or wildlife in general.

Here's another....keep working on my birdhouses. I actually sold a couple, which surprised me, because I had so few in my Etsy shop. It encouraged me enough to keep going though.
 Jayme (youngest daughter) made this little mushroom birdhouse. She has written a children's book about little people who live in Mushroom houses and how they learn to accept each others differences.
We've been making some new birdhouses also. My goal is to add more, regularly, to the shop. I'll share a glimpse of my favorites once in a while.

This lovely flower is called Passionflower. It grows quite well in what was once our horse pasture. A lot seems to grow in our horse pasture. It is slowly turning back into forest, I'm afraid....We can't seem to slow it down. With just the two of us now, some things just have to be let go....
Passionflower is a medicinal herb that is quite useful. Dried and made into tea it is a relaxing herb something like chamomile. Medicinal herbs, both wildcrafted and the ones I intentionally cultivate are a particular passion of mine. I'd like to write some more about those.

Of course I'd like to spend some more time with this guy. We're at a place in life where people really start to have problems.....unfortunately, the statistics for divorce after 40 are pretty sad. Marriage is always worth working at and never to be taken for granted!

....and this is what we really, really want to spend more time doing! Getting out, walking, hiking, watching the birds, looking for that exotic and rare herb! See, you can combine them all. I think that's a pretty good mix don't you?
 We've had a hard time trying to fit this in. Our schedule is so full at this point in our life and our budget is stretched to the limit. I'll be looking for ways to "backpack on a budget!" (a serious budget)
 Of course, I'll write about that!

Most important to us of all.... Our family! This was taken last year at Christmas. We didn't all get together this year or I'd have an updated picture for you. I just love this one. Look at all those joyful smiles! (We are missing our newest granddaughter in this picture. You can read about her here.) I'll write about family too. We started with three kids....now we have six! We've doubled our investment in just a few short years. I love it!

So, that's what I want to do this next year, write about...Our Appalachia and all the things we love!


                                               Have a very Happy New Year!!

A bit of Red

That is Winged Sumac pictured in the gourd. My field has quite a bit of it growing out there. Snoopy (Jayme's horse) moved to South Carolina with her and now my field is once again reverting back to forrest... or jungle....whichever you prefer to call it. I just love the fall color of it. It really is a weed around these parts although, it did manage to catch Tim's eye. He doesn't usually notice such things but, the other morning he commented on the color of our "field". It is a beautiful red isn't it? Lots of this color around right now, I'm really enjoying it while its here, soon enough the leaves will all fall and winter will have arrived. Winter is not my favorite time of year....but I am determined to enjoy it anyway this year. Somehow....

Today, I'll just enjoy the Reds of Autumn.

These were just turning. I took them a couple of weeks ago, there are so many reds around. They are my favorite leaf color. This year anyway.

and one more.

This lovely Red Cardinal deserves a place amongst the Reds of Autumn, don't you think? I took this at Jeff and Tash's the day they were moving. (our son and daughter in law) He was enjoying the left over bird seed Tash had in the back yard. He and his lady friend, whom I did not get a picture of.

My favorite Red of all!! Estella Cheri, our oldest grand daughter. Also taken the day they moved. We really miss that little "Missy Girl"!




What's your favorite color of autumn?

The Roaring River

Up the road from our house is a place called The  Roaring River. It was pretty dry. We've gotten a lot of rain since we were there. Flash flood warnings even. So, I'll bet the Roaring River is once again 'roaring.' Up at the top of the falls where the old mill used to be you could walk across the dry river bed. I did, just so I could climb up the rocks and have my pic taken. No, I don't approve of the "modern art" painted on the  cliffs, but it was already there......nice message anyway.

This is also part of the old mill. You have to hike down the river to see this. It's not up by the falls, where people usually go. We went swimming there once with Wes and Jayme. Normally, you would just hike along side of the river, but my "sherpa" (trail guide) decided we needed to climb straight up the side of the mountain to see if we could get to the top of the cliffs that border this river.

                                                 It can be done. We did it.

At the top is the nicest meadow. (cow pasture, devoid of cows at this time.)

I found a much less steep mountain 'trail' to get back to the river and we ended up at the swimming hole.It's down river from the main falls (about 1/2 mile). There was actually enough water there to go swimming and I did some waist deep wading in order to get this picture.

We were both wearing water shoes, just in case we decided to go swimming. I don't know as we should be. They do work well  for walking shoes. There is a lot of traction to them. I think some would disapprove of using them for hiking shoes. No support, not enough protection. They are probably right on the protection part.  But....I know that I've been walking a lot of miles in them and my feet and ankles seem to be getting stronger and more supportive of themselves. They are very flexible as minimilist footwear should be. The idea being to make your feet, ankles, tendons and muscles stronger. I wouldn't recommend using them for long stretches, if you aren't conditioned for it. Good article about that here. Adventure in Progress  These are just water shoes. But for now they are doing the job. Although I am having some serious coveting issues over these or these.  I'd like to get Tim this pair. Ok, enough free advertisement! Just kidding.... I do think they would wear better than the water shoes and offer a tad more support and protection without weakening your foot, and ankles. Just my opinion....I can't say from experience.

 Tim had thought about getting in, but decided he didn't relish the thought of walking back in sloshing shoes, besides he had a better idea.....  I'm thinking, "the river bed is almost dry we could walk back most of the way in the dry bed......Tim's thinking was, "I need to figure out how this mill worked and straight back up that hillside is the most interesting part of it." 

and that is where we went.....It was steeper than the first hillside! He still is puzzled by how it all worked. At one time it must have been quite the operation.

He found a much less strenuous way out.....more round about, but that is what we were there for. To see the countryside, breathe the fresh clean air and get moving!

The end to a perfect day! Rocking sweet babies and listening to the rain.

Jessica (our daughter) came visiting with her not quite two week old baby girl! (Aurora Lilly)

Purest flower of the morning....

                                               Tim holding Aurora Lilly the day she was born.

That is what I decided her name must mean.....Aurora means Dawn, as in the sunrise. Lilly is a flower representing innocence and purity. So.....it just seems to fit that meaning. Besides, as her grandmother, I'm allowed such liberties, aren't I?
Our oldest daughter and son in law have a brand new baby girl. She is pretty sweet! We are just lovin' her. It makes me want one for myself....actually I think grandbabies are more fun. After all, you can do all the fun things with them and don't have to worry about all the not so fun things. All parents and grandparents will know just exactly what I mean by that. We have three granchildren and they have brought such joy into our lives!


                                                                     Stella and her hat!    

This is our son and daughter in law's little girl playing with an old hat! She's so much fun and has lived up to the meaning of her name......Star Beloved.  (Estella Cheri) She is the beloved star in this family, for sure.


                                                                        V (his nickname)

 
And this is their son. Our only grandson (right now) Everitt Sean. You want to know what is name means? Brave (or strong) as a wild boar.....we'll go with the brave and strong part. He's gonna be a tough guy some day! He's just super cute right now. His middle name means, God is gracious. Yes. He is.