Change can be beautiful

Such amazing creatures. I am in awe of them. So fragile, graceful and beautiful. Their lifespan is very short, a year at the most, depending on the species and some live only two days. And yet, the Monarch travels 3,000 miles during it's migration to Central America.  Children's butterfly site.

In the process of metamorphosis, while they are in the cocoon, they turn from a Caterpillar to an indistinguishable mass of "goo" and somehow, out of that, this gorgeous creature emerges. One butterfly expert feels this is "rightly regarded as a miracle". I would agree.

This one really enjoyed my Oregano blooms and kept returning time and time again.

I wondered what I could learn from them. I think that God's Creatures often teach us something. He told us to observe them and take lessons.
I think, for me, the butterfly represents change and complete renewal. Becoming something new and leaving the past behind.
I believe I'm in that process, at this juncture in my life. The problem is, right now, I'm just a lot of "goo" and not sure how it all can fit together. I feel the cocoon around me, smothering me, knowing change has to happen. Yet, I'm not quite ready to break free, strengthen my wings and fly. It all takes time, I guess.


Really, I'm not trying to over dramatize my situation, I just have no idea where it all will lead. I feel the change, I  know it's coming, I know it needs to. I just don't want to make the wrong choices and the choices to be made seem so important. They involve the future of some of those I hold closest to me. I feel completely torn and a lot like that "goo" trapped inside it's walls. Not sure how, this could ever turn out to be for the benefit of all. And, that is what I'm looking for, something that changes us and makes us all better.....like the butterfly. So, I'll wait and keep looking up. I'll keep asking for Guidance. I'd be lost without it.

A Scent of Spring

Charleston South Carolina.  November 2012

Certain places, seasons of the year and even scents often cause almost forgotten memories of beautiful moments to be brought back to the front of my mind. It's almost like living that moment again. Deep inside somewhere. A longing, yet we just can't quite place what it is we are even longing for.

 Maybe C. S. Lewis describes it best.
~"...We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words — to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it...."~
This morning was one of those times. As Tim and I pulled into work a Robin flew past our windshield. I was quick to point and say "A Robin." Tim responded with "Cardinal" as he also pointed. Then, we both spotted the Blue Jay in the tree, as a Tufted Titmouse flew away. We smiled, the tree was full of some of our favorite friends. We began unloading the truck and a cool breeze was blowing....bringing a smell that at first I couldn't place. A fresh, earthy scent....what was it? It was there and then it was gone. A few minutes later another breeze brought it back, all at once I knew, yet, it couldn't be.... spring? Just a tiny scent, but it was there. I knew it wouldn't stay, but I was so thankful to have breathed it in, even just for that moment. Now, my 'New Year' could begin.

Spring has always seemed like the proper time for the new year to me. The season itself is so representative of new beginnings. Winter is the end and is thought of that way, in most applications. Winter represents the end season of our lives, while spring, is new, the beginning of life. I wasn't there when it was decided when the New Year would begin and so I didn't get a vote. If I had....I'd have chosen spring. Spring proper, when life begins to push back through the Earth. I know, it really has to do with the longer days (winter solstice) and such signs, but life springing forth is certainly a sign. Yes?

That glimpse, this morning, gave me all those feelings of newness and I was ready to begin my year. I thought of the gifts and opportunities I've been given for this coming year. My grandchildren (all three of them) are living with us and will be for most, if not all of the year. I've been worrying and fussing over unimportant details of life. I felt a distinct direction from God this morning, to let those go and enjoy this special time that has been "gifted" me. Make memories, love each precious moment, focus on family. I guess you could call it my New Years resolution.

So, even though the scent of spring has come and gone, it was here long enough to inspire me and make me long for those beautiful moments described by Lewis.

~"...At present we are on the outside of the world, the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the splendours we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumour that it will not always be so. Some day, God willing, we shall get in...."~ C.S Lewis on heaven

The riches of a simple life

An old gate Tim built for Jayme's horse pasture. The field is growing up and the gate is leaning more and more, but I still love his gate.     

Today as I was driving down the road I glanced into a field that was full of wildflowers. I was thinking of each species and naming them in my mind; Iron weed, Joe Pye weed, Mist Flower, Goldenrod. I then glanced at the forest behind the  field and began to name the trees which grew there; Maple, Oak, Hickory, Tulip Poplar, Sycammore and as I was doing this I felt a great sense of satisfaction. I knew the plants around me, a few short years ago I couldn't do that. I remembered when we had first moved to this part of the country it was a desire of mine to be able to identify the trees and plants here. I realized that I was accomplishing that. I felt almost a sense of being wealthy. That seemed like an odd thing and I wondered why I felt it.

It came to my mind of being a young child again. My father and mother both loved the outdoors  and the country lifestyle. Riches and fame were not for them. Just the simple life. They would often take us on rides into the woods and we would pick berries or just enjoy the scenery.
I remember that my father could tell the difference between each of the many pine trees that blanketed the mountains in Montana. He knew which mushrooms were edible, which berries were good to eat and when it was time to pick them. My parents had their favorite berry picking patches and went back year after year. My father was a hunter and fed their family of six on much wild game over the years. My mother always had a flock of chickens that provided us eggs and meat. She was a faithful shepherd to a small herd of goats that provided delicious, healthful milk. They raised pigs some years, as well as, a steer or two.
They grew large gardens and canned hundreds of jars filled with the bounty. I can still picture the rows and rows of them filled with colorful vegetables and fruits.
I can almost taste the elderberry and chokecherry syrup that was used for our 'made from scratch' sourdough pancakes.   I remember for a while mom had a crock filled with a sourdough starter she had bought. She "fed" it often and it would bubble up and threaten to overflow. Oh, but it produced many steaming pancakes.
I used to sit at the counter and watch her make bread I can still see the yeast as it dissolved in the warm water and oil in her large bread bowl. She would stir in the flour and remaining ingredients and the smell of warm yeasty bread dough would fill my senses. Later on, the most delicious aroma of all would saturate the house, the smell of freshly baked bread. She would butter the tops and I can still see the melting liquid run down the sides. I get my love of baking bread from these vivid memories, I know that I do.

 As all these memories came back I realized why knowing the plants around me made me feel wealthy. The security of knowing that we could do the same as they had done. We had the ability and had done many of the same things over the years. To have a simple life and find our riches in God's nature and hard work. To live in a similar way as people have for many millennia. We had learned this and could do it again,  it is within our reach. These thoughts filled me with a deep satisfaction. I actually felt we possessed an 'immaterial'  type of wealth. A kind of 'ancient' knowledge of something that is slipping away from us.

I'm not sure what our future holds, but we would like to simplify our life and do some of those things we did when we were raising our children. Tim looks longingly at our neighbors tractor and says "I want to be a Larry when I grow up." (our farming/ Methodist Pastor next door. Tim wants to be the farmer part) I  know that he has always enjoyed our homesteading attempts. We shall see if this is what God has in mind for us. I know better than to make too many plans.....they always seem to change. Whatever happens, I do know that you can always simplify your life where ever you live. Turning the internet off once in a while is a good start and I have seen Urban gardens that put me to shame.

                                                         

Chicory a beautiful wildflower we have here. I just love the color. The perfect shade of blue

We are grateful for the country life we grew up with and raised our children in. Wouldn't trade it for anything.



Thank you mom and dad, for showing us this peaceful, simpler way of life, through living it yourselves.














~that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands~ 1 Thessalonians 4:11

Volunteer Vines

For the last several years I have gotten a volunteer vine growing somewhere on our place. Somewhere, that I did not plant them. The flower beds have been the usual place. This year one showed up in a pile of wood bark from last years fire wood.  I let it grow, since I hadn't planted a garden and I love the idea of a mystery vine. This is it's   lovely bloom. It blooms at night and by mid morning is gone. By evening, new ones will be opening again. I wonder if it's related to the Moon Flower? I'm sure it's not, but they are the same color and both bloom at night.

So, I let it grow. I told Tim to watch out for it and not to mow it or pull it up. I wanted to see what it would be. We were busy working and I pretty much just ignored it, not even paying attention to how big it was getting. One evening, after we pulled in, I glanced over at the side of our house, where my Elm tree is.
I couldn't believe it. While we were busy, this little vine had been busy too. It grew and climbed all the way to the top of the tree. That's what I get for not paying attention.

If you haven't figured out what it is yet, here's another hint. I'll show you the leaves.

Well, it was getting late when I discovered how large it was getting and didn't do too much looking. I had figured out  what it was and told Tim. He wanted to know how I knew, as I'd only tried once to grow this and hadn't had too much  success.  I recognized the leaves and at a quick glance saw some little 'fruits' coming on. So, here's another hint....

Do you know yet?


 I wonder if it's too late for them to get very big. We have til somewhere around the last of September before the first killing frost. We'll have to see how they do.





The next day was Saturday so, with my morning coffee in hand,  I went to check out my volunteer vine. Not only had it grown up the tree but, had weaved it's way in and around the too tall, and desperately needing mowed, grass. As I poked around trying to decide if any of the babies would even make it. I spotted something.

There hidden in the grass was a very nice sized Bird House Gourd! Last winter, when we were working on my birdhouse projects in the garage, some of the seeds that we cleaned out of gourds, must have fallen on the floor and were swept up and dumped with the rest of the bark and wood chips. I had planned to let this pile break down a bit and use it for mulch around my trees.
I'm more than pleased with the size of this one already. It should continue to grow until frost kills the vine. I'm hoping some of the babies also get big enough for at least some smaller gourds.

The volunteer vines have been a lot of fun. Last year, it was watermelons. I ended up with five delicious ripe watermelons before it was done. The year before it was cantaloupe! Once, watermelons grew in Snoopy's field -Snoopy is Jayme's horse-  he managed to step on every one before we could harvest them. He ate them too. Which is how the seeds got there, we had often fed him our left over watermelons chunks!

Did I ever tell you about when I grew watermelons to sell? I had over 600 plants one year. But, that is another story.....

The Gift

Do we know the gift we have been given? Life, love, beauty. I  want to write about my gratitude for that. Often, as I look at the World around me and the seeming unfairness of it all, I could be discouraged that there isn't more I can do. Sometimes, I wish for wealth so that I could give to those who do not have. But, I am beginning to realize that wealth is not necessarily a gift or something to really be desired.

I have been reading a book called Soul Survivor by Philip Yancey. In it, are 13 short biographies of people who helped, in one way or another, to restore the waning faith of the author. One of these men was Leo Tolstoy. A famous Russian author who wrote such books as War and Peace and Anna Karenina. No, I've never read them, they are both very long and are not really my type of books. I have read several of his short stories such as Where love is, there is God. -by going to the link you can read it online.- It is a short little story of a poor shoemaker who has lost his family. One day he hears a voice tell him that Christ will visit him tomorrow, but is surprised to see it happen in a different way than he expected. I recommend reading it. Great story.
One of the lessons that Leo Tolstoy seems to have found in his quest in this life, was that money could not buy peace, contentment or even lasting happiness. He wrote several stories of Russian peasants who had found this elusive peace. It hadn't been brought about by wealth and material things.

Another chapter in Phillip Yancey's book was on a Harvard Professor named Robert Coles. He was also a child psychiatrist who wrote a series of books called children of crisis. In this series he interviewed ordinary people and often children. He was trying to gain an honest perspective of how people lived. In the first four books he focused on poor people or those who wouldn't be considered wealthy. The final volume called The Privileged Ones is about the rich and well off in America.
His conclusions are similar to what Leo Tolstoy found. Money does not buy us happiness. That those who were lacking in material things were by far happier and better adjusted to life. One of the reasons he felt this was so, (and this point is often ignored by his peers) was their faith. Many of the people who lacked wealth, that he interviewed, had faith in God and often pointed to Him as the reason for their peace.

As I was reading these biographies a verse from Proverbs came to mind. ~...give me neither poverty nor riches...lest I be full and deny Thee and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain. Pr. 30:8-9~
It seems, to me, that in our society, as more and more people gain in material wealth, they turn away from God. As if they do not need Him. Those who have just enough to get by, know that they do indeed, need Him and turn to Him for their source of security. In Him, they find peace.....

As I look at my life and the things that I do have, I become more and more grateful for the life that He has given me. We have never had a lot. Certainly, more than many in this world. Honestly, though, it has always been just enough. Never more, never less. We have always known, Who provided that. We have found peace in that. Things would get tight and we would worry. But in the end, it would always be enough and we wondered why we had gotten so uptight about it.

So, as I mull all these thoughts around, I look around and see such wonderful gifts. I find them all around me. In the little House Wren that sat on a fence post just last evening, singing his cheery little song, as if it were  for me alone. The Indigo Bunting that came and showed off his brilliant blue feathers to us, nearly every day for several weeks. In the amazing green and growing things I am surrounded by and so desire to learn more about. In that very knowledge of them, He has allowed me to gain.

We love where we live. The four seasons are perfectly spaced, each with 3 months of their own. Even now, as I write this, I feel fall in the air, slowly inching it's way into summer. God has given us a piece of his Earth. I watch the trees, flowers, birds and even the insects and am filled with gratitude for His over abundance.

I look at my family and how much they care for one another and for Tim and I. I look at my smiling grandchildren as they reach out their arms for a hug from gramma. My heart is filled and overflowing, with no empty spaces.

I hear his voice bring me comfort as He speaks through the Psalms of David. I think of the Shepherd boy  and once king of Israel, that wrote them from the depths of his heart. A man, not so different from us. A man, who had learned to find his peace, in God his Father. He found that peace, while watching his father's sheep in the wilderness. The words written so long ago, are still so fitting for our lives today. I find so much comfort and understanding in this book.  reading schedule of Psalms I often follow

I am overwhelmed with all that He has given us. It is a Gift.

~ Either we are adrift in Chaos, or we are individuals, created, loved, upheld and placed purposefully,   exactly where we are. Can you believe that? Can you trust God for that? ~ Elizabeth Elliot

Herbal hunting

This summer has been very warm. For a while it was dry and hot, hot,hot! Finally, after our grass actually turned brown for the first time,  the rains came back. Greening up our small part of Appalachia once again. It was a relief to me. I always feel parched and tense in dry weather. The rains have 'hydrated' me once again. They are also just starting to fill the rivers a bit too. We stopped and ate our lunch the other day at the Roaring River Park near Gainsboro, TN. Being near water and watching it's flowing motion, always soothes me. Must be that hydration thing again.

On another day we went to a different part of the river and found some Pipsissewa. I had found this last year but at the time did not know what it was. When I find an unusual looking plant or one I think I may recognize from browsing herb and plant field guides, I take a picture of it and see if I can identify it when I get home. This one, I actually put on my facebook page and some herbal friends  ID'd it for me.

Recently,  I purchased a new herb book called Mountain Medicine by Darryl Patton. It is about the life, herbal studies and remedies of Alabama herbalist Tommie Bass. I am enjoying this book, savoring it slowly, as I've waited a very long time for it. When I'm finished I'll write a review here.

Pipsissewa is one of the herbs profiled in this book. So, knowing where it grows in abundance, I went back and gathered a bit to try. It has many uses, but the one I'm wanting it for is a general Tonic. That just means an herb that helps to build you up, strengthen and restore your health.
This is actually spotted pipsissewa although I'm not sure why it would be called that. Those look like stripes to me...
Anyway, I've gathered some and have a tincture going. We shall see if I like this herb or not. I have a personal preference to try each herb singularly to see how they work for me. I'm not a big fan of herbal mixtures with a lot of different herbs. I do mix them together after I've tried them individually and know how they work for me. Others however, do fine with the mixes. It is a personal choice. I just rather like to know how each herb is acting on my system. Maybe, it's simply a curious research thing...

On our way home we stopped at the store to grab a few things for supper. In the parking lot was this perfect, but (sadly) dead eastern tiger swallowtail or is it an Appalachian Tiger Swallowtail ? I simply could not tell the difference.

I am just a beginning student of butterflies so I know very little. They are so very graceful and beautiful. You just can't help but smile when you see one flitting across the yard.

In case anyone was wondering I placed it on magazine cover that was picturing human cells. The coloring in the background seems to make the butterfly stand out more.
It was the latest copy of Acts and Facts from the Institute of Creation Research. You can get a free subscribtion and it is an interesting and informative magazine.

This is my favorite treasure I've found this summer. Mountain Mint! I'm sure it has always been here but this is the first year I recognized it, for what it was. I spotted it driving to work one day. I was driving and Tim was reading. -He possesses that unique ability to read in a moving vehicle, while I most definitely do not.-  He gets a bit worried when I start spotting herbs or birds while driving, however.
I was pretty excited when I drove by, as I was sure this was what I had seen. We stopped, turned around and went back. Tim, quickly jumped out and picked me a bit.  I could instantly tell by the smell that yes, I had found mountain mint. The next day I went out back for a walk in our woods and there it was. Just as if to say, "It's about time you found me."
This is an herb which is also profiled in the book Mountain Medicine. It is used for coughs, colds, sinusitis, bronchitis and even asthma. When you smell it you can easily understand why. It smells just like Vicks Mentholatum salve. It can be used as an herbal steam or taken internally. Just boil some leaves, turn the heat off, hold a towel over your head and the still steaming pot and  breath in deeply. (be careful not to get too close or the steam could burn you) You should start to feel your head clear right away. You could also make a cup of tea, drink it while wrapped up in a warm blanket and this should induce a sweat.
Or, you could just drink the tea. I haven't tasted it yet, but all of the mint family, of which this is a part, taste wonderful with plenty of fresh honey! My hunch is this will be strong flavored. I am anxious to try this next cold season. -Not anxious to catch a cold!- But, I'm always ready for the cure.



~ "I always did believe that God never did make no mistakes. He never made anything He didn't make a remedy for. The Lord's put something out there if we would only get out there and hunt it." ~ Tommie Bass

                           (the book Mountain Medicine was written about his life.)

A Butterfly and a Blog-oversary

Our Appalachia- A beautiful Butterfly  It appears my butterfly bush is working. Spicebush Swallowtail. One of my favorites.


Yesterday was Our appalachia's blogoversary. For some reason, I just happened to wonder how long ago since I had started this blog. I looked late last evening and was so surprised to see I had actually checked on the exact date! How coincidental...One year ago, I started this blog and this was the first post. I guess that I always had Nature and all of it's wonderful gifts from God, in my mind for this blog. I wish I had time to write a special anniversary post....but, I just don't today. Just thought the occasion should at least be acknowledged!

Have a wonderful day. Get out and enjoy the summer, the days have begun to wane once again. They have been for a month already.... Before you know it Fall will be upon us. That is my favorite season of the year. Enjoy today!

Naturalist?

I feel the need to define what that is. I guess maybe I should actually call it by another name. At one time this was the definition. Student of plants and animals Okay that sounds about right. I just love the idea of knowing how Nature works. I want to know the name of that plant, bird or even what insect in making that noise at night? I just want answers.
But, I felt the need to explain that the above definition is what I mean when I say naturalist. Today's modern definition means something different.
nat·u·ral·ist 

n.

1. One versed in natural history, especially in zoology or botany.

2. One who believes in and follows the tenets of naturalism.

nat·u·ral·ism

noun  (in art and literature) A style and theory of representation based on the accurate depiction of detail A philosophical viewpoint according to which everything arises from natural properties and causes, and supernatural or spiritual explanations are excluded or discounted (italics mine) (in moral philosophy) The theory that ethical statements can be derived from nonethical ones

So then, by that definition I would not qualify as someone interested in Naturalism. I believe in a literal interpretation of the Creation of the Earth, as recorded in Genesis. I am a student of Creationism. I have a long way to go to call myself anything besides a student. Really, do any of us ever get much past that? There is always something new to learn.

Maybe, I should come up with a new name....But, I'm just a bit stubborn about the idea that one can indeed be a student of plants and animals and believe in a Divine Creator! In our age there is much Scientific evidence to back up the idea of a Creator as described in the Bible. I find it almost insulting that I can't be considered a Naturalist unless I believe in natural history, according to the modern theory of evolution.

On occasion, in future blog posts, I hope to write about the things I'm learning. I love sharing information. I have met some of the most intelligent and interesting people on the Internet that have helped to teach me much about Herbal Medicine. I could never have hoped to learn even half, of what I have in the last couple of years, if people had not generously shared information. So, I'll be trying to return the favor. Hopefully we can learn together. This blog helps keep me on track. I suppose similar to the way a journal does. The only difference is the interaction. I will share links, books, magazines or whatever else you might be interested in. And I have added a new label 'Creationism'.

Besides, I really just have a need to write. I am always writing in my mind, as I go about my day. I need an outlet for that or I may begin talking to myself to get it out...

"Reading about nature is fine, but if a person walks in the woods and listens carefully, he can learn more than what is in books, for they speak with the voice of God."

~George Washington Carver - scientist, botanist, educator, inventor and former slave

A Peaceful Place

  

At around 5:30 ish Saturday morning I set out for my morning walk. I don't do this every day, but I should! It's good for us in so many ways.
 It's still a bit dark out, but as I walk it lightens. The air is damp and humid, the birds are singing, it smells fresh and cool. I think I've described this before, it's just such a perfect time of day. It is... my Peaceful Place.

We all need a peaceful place to go to when life is hard to understand. I know I do.
God has decided He ought to gift me an extra dose of empathy and mercy.... In our world, that can make for some dark moments. Moments, I think when others don't understand me. I sometimes wonder if I don't actually scare people with the intensity of what I feel. I just simply cannot look at evil and injustice without feeling something should be done. I really believe that we are the hands and feet of God and we have a job to do. I know that I'm not alone in this way of thinking, it just feels like it at times. When I feel frustrated and hurt for the victims, this is where I go to tell God about it. -As if He didn't already know.- Ah, but He listens and I am often inspired with thoughts and words to write. I'm encouraged once again, that indeed one person can make a difference, in their small circle, if nothing else.

Later, I decided to go see what was happening in my Woods behind us.- A lot of flora and fauna is packed into that tiny forest.-
 This is Poke. You'd never know such a pretty berry could be so controversial. Old Timers of the Appalachians have used this plant with discretion for many decades. It is more recently, that it has gotten a bit of a bad name. The early spring greens can be made into Poke Salat. They need to be prepared properly of course. 
 In fact at one time you could even buy them canned from Allen's canning company. The berries were used to make jelly, wine and of course dye. They will stain your hands very quickly and are also known as Ink Berry. The seeds are the poisonous part, the berries were juiced and used in that manner. It is good herb for cleansing your lymph glands.  
Caution! This can be a poisonous plant and I wouldn't recommend using it unless you have done your research. Here are two links for anyone so interested. Southern Herbalist Poke Salad  and  Green Deane's Poke Weed. 

This is winged sumac. I have at least two species of Sumac growing in my small forest. This is my favorite simply because of the way it has "wings". Such an interesting plant. 
They are simply gorgeous in the fall and turn the most beautiful red color.

Birds love Sumac thickets and I have a very nice one growing just the other side of my backyard fence. So it works out perfectly in my quest for feathered visitors.

I need to study it's medicinal value as I do believe it is used in herbal medicine. I am just not familiar with it.

It's been a little over a year since we decided to just let the field go. At that time our daughter had married and taken her horse Snoopy with her. We knew we couldn't keep up with the field in mowing, so Tim said "let it go". I was so worried about it getting out of hand, but in the end I'm so glad God did not answer my prayer to find a way to mow it. The birds absolutely love it. I have more birds in my backyard than ever before. 




I also discovered this Maple tree while I was back there.It is taller than me by a good two feet. In just over a year! Possibly longer, if Snoopy had by some chance, left it alone while he was grazing there. Trees that are naturally planted in the wild can grow amazingly fast. I need to see if I can ID which kind it is. It will grow up and add to the natural privacy fence. I am getting a nice lesson in how reforestation works in the Appalachians. 
Who needs Naturalist classes anyway, with such a great classroom in your backyard?  Although, I must admit, I would so enjoy them. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. Field guides, websites, internet friends, books and more books. Good excuse to read more!

Now, this is back in my 'Old Growth Woods'. While, the field  is still a tangled web of Sumac, Tree of Heaven,  Blackberry brambles, Elderberries, Passionflower and much more, in this part, the undergrowth is very minimal. The sun just barely reaches down through the dense canopy of huge branching trees, it is cool and shady. I hear the sounds of many of my birds. In fact, a few were scolding me for entering their domain....ah, but it's mine too. We share.

 As I finally wandered back to the house, all was right with the world again. I had not made anything better, but I knew I would keep trying, in my small way. I would still feel grief and even be indignant, over the unfairness in life and for the terrible atrocities that I have finally decided to stop ignoring. I would still keep talking about it.

For that moment however, God had given me a kind of peace. Mostly, I watched and listened to the sounds of nature. In them, He spoke of a garden long ago. A gift to mankind. This is still our gift, if only a fraction of what he wanted us to have. No... what He wants us to have. Nature speaks of it's Creator, it speaks of a future and it speaks of hope. If we'll listen.

~The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy, is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be..." -Anne Frank 1929-1945 from her diary

Montana Memories

Did I ever tell you about where we were raised and in turn, raised our children? No, it wasn't here, where we live now. Tim and I were both raised in the beautiful North Country of Montana. Also known as 'Big Sky Country'. I lived there most of my life and I still don't know why they call it that. The sky never seemed any bigger to me. Now, 'Big Mountain Country' I could have understood. Montana is home to some of the most magnificent mountains I've ever seen.
In fact, to this day, I don't feel at home in flat country. Although I see wondrous, peaceful beauty in the waving grasses of the prairie, they leave me feeling rather exposed and unprotected. The mountains are a type of security to me. I guess it just depends on where you grew up at. My mother says she feels completely at home on those prairies. -But she grew up on the plains of Nebraska.-

When we moved back to Montana after living in Arizona for over seven years, we nearly froze to death! I remember that first winter.....our bodies had acclimated to the southwest and when cold weather hit we were completely shocked at how cold it felt to us. I guess we had forgotten. Tim thought for sure he'd never make it through. Everyone was worried about me, as I've always had a hard time with cold weather. They really should have worried over Tim.

In our zeal for the country life we went to a bit of an extreme though and moved "way back in"....It was a tract of land that had been subdivided and was for sale at a good price. Tim and I were the first to actually move onto the property. Not a soul lived near us for over a mile. One day, we heard voices in the woods and it actually concerned and startled us. It was the cousins come up for a picnic at their property next door!

I remember not being afraid to sing as I went about my outdoor chores. -I  usually sing only in front of my children. I've been singing silly songs to them since the day they were born!- But there, in the woods and at that time, I could sing with no one to hear me but the birds. Surprisingly, they often sang back. My youngest daughter tells me she remembers me doing that and thought her mother had the most lovely voice she'd ever heard and when she grew up she wanted to sing just like that. Ahh, the innocence of children!

That summer we had no electricity, septic or running water. We pulled a camper out to the middle of the woods, set up our cabin tent and spent the summer camping out. We hauled water, used an outhouse, cooked over a campfire and lived "off grid". We listened to the coyotes singing their nighttime songs and I thought they must surely be right outside our tent. Tim would assure me it was just the way it sounded in the empty forrest. I would try to catch seeing them with my flashlight. He must have been right because, they were never there when I'd jump out and shine the light around.
I remember that summer we had some especially terrific storms. Inside of our tent, it sounded as if the thunder was rolling right down the valley aimed at us. It would echo off the narrow canyon walls and sit us straight up in bed! I think back now and am amazed and awed at the memory of it.
By the time our house came along in the fall we had gotten just a bit tired of camping! The weather was cooling rapidly and we knew we'd have to have a home with solid walls soon or find somewhere else to live. We moved in,  around late September or early October. This whole experience taught us much and assures me that we are stronger and more capable than we think we are and we could do it again if we had to. 

Tim and our son Jeff had a conversation once that went something like this... 

Tim-referring to where we presently live- : "Everyone says we live in the country. We don't live in the country, you can be at a Walmart in 15 minutes." 
Jeff : "Dad, this is the country, we were raised in the wilderness."
It made me laugh anyway. I hope it is with great fondness that he remembers our "wild country home".

It took us 9 months before we had electricity and over two years before the well and septic were completed.
Whew! No one in those survival type magazines mentions how inconvenient this can actually be. They make it sound so adventurous and exciting.  It is not for the faint of heart. It's work. Hard work. It is to be taken very seriously, in cold and wild country like Montana. Foolish mistakes can cost you more than you would want to pay.

We did it though. We took a piece of raw land and made it our home. Before we sold it and moved some years later, we had a home, a barn, garage and various animal pens. A small greenhouse along with some very nice raised garden beds that Tim fashioned with "hoop houses" over each one to protect our precious plants from frost during the short growing season. We did love that piece of land that the Lord loaned to us.

I had learned in Arizona to appreciate each place we lived for the good that was there. I did love those Woods and  my gardens, short season and all. I learned all the tricks to extending it just a few more weeks and did manage to harvest some lovely crops. Even a few small tomatoes thanks to the greenhouse Tim made me from old trampoline parts -he's very handy to have around-.....I wish I had pictures to show you.

We often wildcrafted in the mountains for herbs. The hills were just full of wild roses. Each fall, we found a favorite old logging road and hiked up it, braving the briers and picked  rose hips by the 'bushel'. I dried them to make tea and herbal medicine. In fact, when we left we still had so many, that they lasted nearly 5 years here in Tennessee. Although they were wild, there were still many different varieties. Now a days, I would have to try to ID them, but at the time we just picked them. There were hips that were covered with little prickly hairs and I wondered if they would be usable. I found out when they dried, the little prickles fell right off, making them perfectly useful for the bright red tea made from it. They came in all shapes and sizes ranging from small pea sized, up to that of a very large Cherry. They were so plentiful and no one else seemed to know that they were there. It was just us, the woods and the thorns waiting to scratch you if you didn't show enough care. The girls and I gathered enough for ourselves and my mother who by now also lived just down the trail and through the woods.... I made everything from tea, to syrup and jellies out of this wonderful and prolific fruit.

There was also a wildflower called Arnica Montana. I made an oil for bruises and sore muscles by steeping the fresh flowers in olive oil. They grew wild and abundant. Another one was Pineapple Weed a wild cousin to Chamomile. Once again we gathered and shared with our "oh so dearly missed grandmother down the trail." It was here that I began to catch herb fever and it was here that some of the most blessed changes began to come into my life. I do believe there is a connection between God, nature and emotional healing. If you will allow me the liberty of saying so. But, we must give HIM the credit for creating it and gifting it to us. I think that is also part of the process.

There were other herbs we gathered and wonderful adventures we had there. I hope that many good memories of this place have been made by all of us. I know, I have made my mind up to remember the good and leave behind the things not worth remembering. Don't we all have to do that? Life was not perfect there, we hadn't found a lost Paradise or anything like that. Winters were long and cold, money was tight, problems existed. There are things I would have done differently...

 Life on this Earth is like that. You do the best you can with what you have. You take the choices you have made and change the wrong ones, it's just never too late to change. You learn to let go of what you have no control over. You walk where God leads and let Him show you the way. You just have to be willing to say, "this is the wrong way, we need to go back and find the right path." It might mean some serious change and painful times but the path is there waiting to be found with God as our guide. If we'll just let Him.

"Teeming in the countryside, the world over, are medicinal herbs and edible plants; it shows disbelief in the power of God to pass them by." ~ Juliette de Bairacli Levy

Summer memories

Do you recognize this place? Look at our cover photo above. Yes, it is the same place. Our river is hardly flowing here. We've been having quite a drought year. The falls are simply not "falling" as they should.

Our youngest daughter -who was married just over a year ago- came to visit with our son-in-law. She arrived around noon and the weather was hot! One of the first things she wanted to do was head to the river. Tim and I have been so busy that we have sadly neglected it.
 We've been missing  the cooler, wet summers that we usually have. The weather has been dry here, our lawn is yellow and crunchy when we walk on it. The clay soil is dry and solid like rock, the air, stifling and heavy. So the river sounded like the place to be on a hot July day.

 I've been having flashbacks from living in the desert in Arizona and so I thought I'd write about them.... Tim loved it in all it's uncommon and unique glory. He used to go out with his friends and hike the rocks and mesa's among the giant Suguaro Cacti. The Sonora Desert is an amazing place.  I never made it out there with him. I was busy, taking care of our kids, and hiding from the heat in the air conditioned apartment....I regret that. Not finding a way to get us all out more.

Tim feels bad about all the desert  that has been consumed and paved over to make room for the ever growing city.  They cut the orange groves down and made room for tract housing and shopping malls. He talks about driving through them when they were in full bloom and the wonderful scent was unlike anything he'd ever smelled before. They would watch the Road Runners scurrying around as they worked out there at the edge of it all, building those homes. He was in love with the desert. If it weren't for the city and the heat we might have stayed. I'd like to take him back someday. Just him and I.  To go and see the places that we neglected to see while we were there.

Reminds me of a line in a song. ~ "....don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you got 'til it's gone. They paved Paradise 'n put up a parking lot." ~   Oh well, I'm not really what you could call a true conservationist. I believe I would simply fall under the category of take care of what God has given us and be a good steward, it's just on loan anyway. I think conservation efforts can mean different things depending on who you talk to. In its worst extreme, I also think of these lines to a song.  "As we're sung to sleep by philosophies that save the trees and kill the children"....   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A8nsql1zi0 It is wrong to care so much for something that doesn't have an eternal soul and neglect to care for a helpless, innocent human life.

My parents had lived in the northern part of Arizona during the time we were there and we probably would have liked that better, temperature wise. But no, we lived 'smack dab' (redneck term) in the middle of Phoenix. It was extremely hot with  asphalt, traffic and city everywhere and the usual crime that seems to infect large populations of crowded people. We hear it has doubled in size since we lived there.

There was one thing that we both agreed upon.... We did not want to raise our children in that tangled mess of industrialized civilization. We wanted them to breath fresh, cool mountain air. To know the freedom that only nature can give. To explore, to watch, to see and  hear the sounds of God's creation. To grow up without fear of riding their bikes down the road,  climb trees and splash through the waters of a cold running stream. And you know what? They did those things. It wasn't easy, but we managed to make that happen for them. (Thanks Tim, for always being the hardworking man you are, who never gives up when you set a goal in your sights.)

Now, here is a something I did not know when we lived there. Hummingbirds! Arizona has a wonderful variety of hummingbirds.  They claim to host 18 different kinds!! In the eastern part of the country we only have one kind that actually live and breeds here, the Ruby-throated Hummingbird.  Although, there is also the Rufous Hummingbird that they are finding  is wintering here. Now, that would be fun to see and I'll be watching for sure.
One of my regrets is that while I lived in Arizona, I didn't feed them and try to attract them. I didn't make this place my home, I should have and I missed out on some things because I focused on what I didn't like instead of finding something I did. Home is where you decide to make it. Abraham Lincoln said "Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be." I have since realized just what it was, I should have been enjoying. I have remembered this lesson. Each place where I have lived since, I have intentionally tried to make it my home and enjoy it's specialty. The world is so full of unique places that often we only get to experience once in a lifetime. 


   ~Be content with such things as you have ... or perhaps you could say, to be content with where you are at. ~



I have been sidetracked once again. I'll show you a few pics of our day at the river....

This is the riverbed. It was pretty dry, but we headed downstream in hopes that our swimming hole would be better.

We weren't disappointed. The water was perfectly cool and so refreshing.

This inlet in the picture below comes into the river from the side and it  just beckons to me. 'Come and explore' it seems to say. I have all kinds of lovely imaginations about this place. In fact it feels rather like something I would find in one Tolkiens books.....My daughter tells me she thinks people live up there not too far and that would have just ruined my expectations, so no exploring took place on this day. 

It is a lovely place though. We believe the water must come from underground as it's temperature is much cooler than the river itself. It's so dark and shady, the trees form a canopy above, blocking out much of the sunlight. With just a few bright sunbeams reaching down through. Lichens and ferns are growing along the banks with plenty of other mystery plants that make me want to know their names. The air feels humid yet cool and fresh . 

Now doesn't that just sound like the perfect place to let your imagination run wild? A place to let the world just pass you by and leave all your troubles behind for just a bit. 

As I sit typing this out, I listen to the growing sound of pattering rain on our tin roof. I sigh... knowing that the moisture is so badly needed. Once again, I thank God for this place we live in. Our Appalachia, that He has so graciously loaned to us, for a time.

“But now ask the beasts, and they will teach you;

                                                  And the birds of the air, and they will tell you;
                                                  Or speak to the earth, and it will teach you;
                                                  And the fish of the sea will explain to you.
                                                  Who among all these does not know
                                                  That the hand of the Lord has done this,
                                                  In whose hand is the life of every living thing,
                                                  And the breath of all mankind?" Job 12:7-10

True Riches

I just love this picture. It was taken on Father's Day when Aurora Lilly (our granddaughter) and her mama came over to visit. Tim was worn out, as usual, (poor guy) and just taking it easy. I like to call her my little "Gerber Baby" I think she looks just like the perfect little baby that's on Gerber baby food products.

She has blue eyes and red hair. Just like her gramma!! Well, to be fair, her other gramma also has red hair and her daddies beard is red. So genetically, the odds were good, that it would turn out red. She's just so beautiful. And I'm not prejudice a bit am I?!

Having grandchildren is just wonderful and I have loved every minute of it. I don't know how I ever got along with out them. Never for a moment have I felt that it somehow meant that I was old! However, my birthday is coming up and that would be an aging factor. Tim and I both would have loved it if we had had more children. That didn't work out but, these granchildren are just a Gift. One that we both have loved everything about. Proverbs 17:6

This is me with our oldest, Estella Cheri. She and her brother got to come hang out with us for a couple of weeks this spring. What good times we did have! But let me tell you, I had to learn all over again how to keep up with two very active kids. Can't you just see the mischievousness twinkle in her eyes here? Personality, that's what it is. Life would be so boring if we didn't have little ones to keep us young. The way they think is still so innocent and moldable.  Sigh....just wish that somehow we could find a way to keep that and not let life hurt them and change them.

I know it's not possible and life does change us. No one's life is perfect. We all bear our own burdens and have our secret pain. I guess it's what you do with it that can, either make you a better person or make you a "not so better" person.

With my birthday nearing....I'll be 45....I've been reflecting on my life and what has been good and what I wish I could change. Of course, we can't change what has already been done, but you can change what 'will be' to a very great degree. I made my choice years ago, after the birth of my youngest. I decided I definitely did not like the way my life was going. I was living a completely self centered life that revolved around the things that I wanted. Nothing would get in the way of my desires. If I wanted something I went after it and didn't care who got hurt in the process.

I was 23.  (yep, I had all three of my kids before that age.) It's sort of a magic age for me. That was when my life changed... It wasn't over night, in fact it was a pretty long and hard process to change and repair all the damage I had done. I couldn't even see all of it for a long time. Even being able to see how my actions affected others, took some time. Time for me to grow and learn. But, I had decided that I wanted something better for my kids. I didn't want them to grow up in this -'sometimes messed up World'- without a Divine Guidance in our lives. Yes, that's when I decided to live my life the way Jesus taught us to. As I said, life was not somehow magically made into the Garden of Eden again. No, but at least we had a better direction to walk in. He left some really good instructions to follow.

This is Tim throwing rocks in the creek with our grandson Everitt Sean. He is just something else! We just plain have fun with him.
A few weeks ago he was at our house and his folks were out with their friends. It was getting late and I said  to him and his sister "we better get ready to go 'nite nite'." He looked at me with a big happy smile and very politely said "no tanks" (no thanks) and went about playing with his toys as if that had settled it. What a funny little guy! (yeah, I let them stay up later, who could resist that?!)

Our family gives us so much joy!


~ One’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses. ~ Jesus  Luke 12:15

Smelling the Honeysuckle

Did you ever find one of these when you were young?

I found this nest and the egg separately the other day and it brought back all these memories of feeling young, summer and pure joy at having found such a treasure.

I wonder if it was just me or if there are other people who have found their peace in the things of nature?

When I was a girl, I found pure joy in these things, a nest and a bird's egg. Sunny flowers would make me smile, the summer sun and a water hose were the perfect combination. Who could ask for more?
Somewhere along the line, life got in the way of these simple things. I forgot to smell the flowers, to watch the birds, to feel the rain on my face.
After all, it was just life and it was hard and wasn't going the way I had planned.

I would cry out to God to change things and make it better. 
I would wonder why He didn't hear me. I would dwell even more on all my problems and seek Him harder. Thinking that I was doing something wrong for God to not hear me. I tried many ways to please Him. It all seemed to no avail.
Then one day, someone mentioned the following verses from the New Testament to me and felt they should be taken literally as an anecdote for depression and anxiety.
Let me share them with you.








~ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin,  yet I say to you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ~ 


These words were spoken by Jesus when he walked on this Earth. 

I remember reading a book written about life in Appalachia. I don't recall the name of the book or the author, but I do remember that they mentioned smelling the honeysuckle in the air. At the time I thought, "that's funny, I've never smelled it before. I wonder why?" I even went and intentionally smelled honeysuckle....but no, I just didn't remember ever smelling it before.

So, I began to implement "the Jesus cure for depression" into my life. First, Tim made a greenhouse and I began to grow flowers from seed. My daughter and I made flower beds that we planted all of these in. I bought field guides about birds, butterflies, wildflowers and herbs. I made and put up bird feeders in my yard and I started feeding the hummingbirds. I began to go for walks just for the purpose of searching out new plants and identifying them. I started making new friends through the internet that had the same interests. Slowly I discovered I was noticing things I never had before. Nature.... that had always been there, began to take on new appearances...or so it seemed to me.  The grass was simply greener wherever I looked, trees were so fascinating to me, I  was noticing flowers and herbs that I'd just never seen before. When I would look at these, I would thank God in my heart for creating them. I would think of Him "looking at all that He had made and saying It Was Good." Genesis 1

Then one day, it happened, I smelled the honeysuckle.... it was in the very air around me and what  a heavenly scent it was! It was surely there all along....At that moment I realized that I was getting better. I was healing from the hurts and disappointments that had destroyed my joy. The "Jesus Cure" was working. 

Have you smelled the honeysuckle today?